Deep-Fried Smoked Kielbasa Salad!!

Why choke down a big bowl of plain ol' rabbit fodder when you could just as easily make it into something delectable by adding deep fried smoked kielbasa!!  Check out how eating "healthy" can also be really damn tasty!

Kielbasa purists may balk at my use of non-traditional Polish smoked kielbasa, but the Eckrich Farm Smoked Kielbasa has a great consistency and texture for deep frying!  Trust me on this one!

That's a nice lookin' swaasaage!

Cut it in half like so!

Ooohh, neat!  Google automatically makes animated gifs out of some of your pics for you now!

Try to make slanted half-moons!

By cutting them up like this, you'll get those sexy, crispy edges that fat kids dream about at night!

(Well, at least I do!)

Cuke!

Ka-pow!  Cuke chunks!

Neener neener neener neener...

Tomatoes!

Ba-zing!! Tomato chunks!

Green pepper!

Whack off the top!

Cut out its heart!

Then chunk that shit up!

Lettuce!

Bifurcated lettuce!

Sllllliiiiiiiccceeeee!!!

You're not s'posed to cut lettuce w/ a knife!

Obv, I don't always do what I'm told!

Hack that shit up, but not too fine! This should suffice!

This is the other half of what I had hacked up, which I planned to bring to work for lunch the next day!

Tip: Don't cut up the tomato or cuke until you're ready to eat it or you'll end up w a soggy salad!

Trust me on this one, or forever regret having to shovel spoonfuls of soggy shit into your face for lunch!

Big chunks of iceberg go on top!

Now, lid this up and get back to work!

OMG!  This deep fried kielbasa is the whipshit!

See all those sexy, crunchy edges?!?  Now, that's what I'm talkin' about!

Try not to stuff all of the kielbasa in your facepit before putting some aside for your manly salad!

Have ats on the crinkle cuts while the chicken fries are on the make!

Chicken fries, yo!!  Wooot!  Though these need no accompaniment nor accouterments, a little Shit Yeah! sauce never hurt! 

Now that's a salad!

How bout some chicken fries, why not?!

 This salad needs no dressing!  NO salad needs dreessing, damnit! :)

The only thing a salad needs is some damn good meat on it!

So, how's that for eating healthy for ya?!