Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Real Men Eat Salads (too!)!! -- 10-19-2012

Yeah, I know I should eat salad more often, but screw that!  Generally speaking (from a lifetime of personal, first-hand experience), not only are most salad dressings terrible for you (lotsa fat & cholesterol), but so too do they taste horrible!!!  Seriously, Marzetti & Newman can suck it!  Click here to see how to make a salad that needs no dressing to make it edible!!

Grab yourself a pound of ground beef on the way home from work
so that you don't have to defrost a pound of burger from the freezer!

Now, get your mise en place (read: shit together) to make the
ground beef into burger meat!
NEVER, EVER cook and eat ground beef without adding the ingredients shown above!!

First, show it some love by punching the meat in its facenuts!
(Make a depression)

Chuck in an egg...

Add a healthy handful of seasoned Italian bread crumbs...

Add in the rest of your spices!

Now, schmoosh it all up until the love happens!

Sexy close-up!!

Mmmmm..... meat!!!

Why would anyone eat PLAIN, unseasoned ground beef??

Five minutes later, it's ready to flip!

Pow!  Lookin' awesome already!!!

Let it keep on keepin' on!!

So close! 

Only when it is very nearly finished...

... is the appropriate time to break up the big chunks into more manageable pieces!

Never, ever break up your meat finer than this!!
Only old farts keep breakin' it up into tiny bits!
So, are YOU an old fart? Maybe! But you still shouldn't break it up very small!

Now, grab the simple salad that you made while the meat was cooking!
You did make the damn salad, right?
After all, that WAS the whole point of this!

DO NOT get too crazy w/ the shit you throw on your salad!!

Pick one or two exotic ingredients and stick to that,
which in this case is the meat and this here broccoli!

2.5 min in the nukerator w/ some Fiery Diablo Seasoning on it
with just a little bit of mantequilla!!

Do NOT throw more than 2 exotic ingredients (in this case, burger & broccoli) on your salad!
Have some consideration for others, for NO ONE wants to sit there and watch OR smell you
shovel a giant shit-pile of stinkin' compost into your facehole!!
Those of you who do this know who you are!
Just sayin'!  ;)

Don't forget about that sexy burger meat ya made!

That's it!  How easy was that?!?
Now, this is a salad that you can eat for dinner from which
you might actually garner some sense of satisfaction
without feeling guilty for pigging-out!
Done right, you shouldn't NEED a salad dressing.
Salad dressings are simply a (very unhealthy way) to mask the
fact that you are eating a bowl of rabbit food. 
Cut out the salad dressings, even the "healthy" ones, and you'll
save yourself not only a TON of money, but also a LOT of calories!

Click here for the entire gallery! 
(Ok, fine. Go ahead and throw some damn cheese on it if you're gonna be that way!)

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